Dark Shadows (2012)

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Bella Heathcote, Chloe Moretz, Gulliver McGrath, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Christopher Lee, Alice Cooper

Directed by: Tim Burton

PG-13. 113 mins

Delightfully dark visuals can’t save this campy vampire tale which proves once and for all that Depp + Burton doesn’t always = magic. Depp plays Barnabus, a wealthy playboy who breaks the heart of Angelique (Eva Green) and discovers that he’s crossed the wrong witch. She turns him into a vampire and buries him alive for two centuries until his tomb is unearthed in the year 1972. Naturally, Barnabus is quite alarmed by all the new technology that surrounds him… he discovers that his old manor has fallen to ruin and is now inhabited by quite an eccentric bunch of relatives with their own dark secrets. Based on the television series of the same name, this version just can’t quite figure out what it wants to be and doesn’t cater to any specific audience. So much potential is lost in the choppy plotting and wacky performances that are becoming quite tiresome. Dark Shadows is a wasted effort and much like the leading vampire, lacking in soul – * 1/2

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